A young girl had just got married and was upstairs with her husband. He was undressing and took off his shirt. Well, he had hair on his chest.
The girl ran downd the steps into the kitchen with her mother, and said ma ma ma he has hair all over his chest. The mother said thats ok, lots of men have hair all over their chest. Now let me stir the spagetti, go up to your husband.
Now the man was taking off his pants and she noticed he had hair all over his legs and body!
She runs down the stairs screaming ma ma, ma ma, he has hair all over his body! The mother says, thats ok lots of men have hair all over their body, now let me stir the spagetti and you go back up there with your husband.
Well he was taking off his shoes and socks. Unfortunately, when he was in the war, he had half his foot cut off.
The girl ran down to her mother screaming ma ma, ma ma, he only has a foot and a half! Ma ma said, here you stir the spagetti, I'll go up
...
Tight skirt
This lady that was wearing a tight skirt was waiting at the bus stop to get onto the bus. A bus pulled up and the driver opened the doors. she tried to step up onto the step but her skirt was too tight. So she reached back to unzip and loosen it a little. she tried to step up onto the steps again. But it was still to tight. She reached back and unzipped some more. Tried to step up again and the skirt was still to tight. She tried one more time. She reached back and unzipped some more. And she still couldn,t get up onto the bus. So this man behind her reaches and grabs her by the butt. He gives her a boost onto the bus. She turns around and slaps him and saying "What do you think you are doing." Well the man says "Well lady after you unzipped my pants for the third time I thought we was aquainted."
This lady that was wearing a tight skirt was waiting at the bus stop to get onto the bus. A bus pulled up and the driver opened the doors. she tried to step up onto the step but her skirt was too tight. So she reached back to unzip and loosen it a little. she tried to step up onto the steps again. But it was still to tight. She reached back and unzipped some more. Tried to step up again and the skirt was still to tight. She tried one more time. She reached back and unzipped some more. And she still couldn,t get up onto the bus. So this man behind her reaches and grabs her by the butt. He gives her a boost onto the bus. She turns around and slaps him and saying "What do you think you are doing." Well the man says "Well lady after you unzipped my pants for the third time I thought we was aquainted."
Man or woman?
A man and a woman just had sex. The man pulls out a cigarette and asks the woman, "Do you have a lighter?"
The woman replies, " There's some matches in the top drawer. "
The man opens it and finds matches perfectly aligned in a row over a photo of a man.
The man asks, " Is this your boyfriend?"
The woman say's, "No"
The guy asks, " Your husband?"
The woman says, "No"
The guy asks, " Well who is it then?"
The woman replies, " That's me before my operation!"
New secretary
Two guys were discussing the new secretary at their office. John to George: "Man, I dated her last Tuesday and we had wonderful sex. She's a lot better in bed than my wife!"
Two days later. George to John: "Well, I dated her too and we had sex as well, but I still think your wife is better in bed!
A sexy Indian girl went to a shop to buy Indian flag. On seeing the flag, she said something that confused and irritated the shopkeeper.
Guess what did sexy girl say.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"Show me some more colors."
After several years together, a young man decides to marry his girlfriend.
Since it is not at all aware of the traditions at the end of the Mass, he approached the priest and asked him:
- Forgive me father, I know it is in the tradition that the bride and groom make an offering to the priest who performed the marriage, but I do not know what people generally give.
The priest replied in the hollow of the ear:
- In general, according to the beauty of the bride. Plus she is beautiful, plus the sum is high. At these words, the groom turned to his wife. He hesitates a moment, reached into his pocket and holds out a piece of € 1 to the priest.
The priest, compassionate, said:
- Do not move, I will make change ...
Since it is not at all aware of the traditions at the end of the Mass, he approached the priest and asked him:
- Forgive me father, I know it is in the tradition that the bride and groom make an offering to the priest who performed the marriage, but I do not know what people generally give.
The priest replied in the hollow of the ear:
- In general, according to the beauty of the bride. Plus she is beautiful, plus the sum is high. At these words, the groom turned to his wife. He hesitates a moment, reached into his pocket and holds out a piece of € 1 to the priest.
The priest, compassionate, said:
- Do not move, I will make change ...
"In the morning, noon, evening and night, my husband always wants the same thing!"
"Horrible, it really is a bit much."
"Yes, but now he eats like fried eggs once!"
"Horrible, it really is a bit much."
"Yes, but now he eats like fried eggs once!"
Three friends discuss motherhood.
One said to me before giving birth I read The Three Musketeers and had three children.
The other said: I have read before giving birth FOUR Little Women and I had four children.
Gee, But I just read 101 Dalmatians! Exclaimed the third.
A WIFE ASKED HER HUSBAND TO DESCRIBE HER:
HE SAID ,YOU'RE A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,"
SHE SAID " WHAT DOES THAT MEAN???
ADORABLE,BEAUTIFUL,CUTE,DELIGHTFUL,ELEGANT,FOXY,GORGEOUS,HOT!
SHE SAID "OH,THAT'S SO LOVELY!"
WHAT ABOUT I,J,K?"
HE SAID, "I'M JUST KIDDING'''!!!!!!!!!
One said to me before giving birth I read The Three Musketeers and had three children.
The other said: I have read before giving birth FOUR Little Women and I had four children.
Gee, But I just read 101 Dalmatians! Exclaimed the third.
A WIFE ASKED HER HUSBAND TO DESCRIBE HER:
HE SAID ,YOU'RE A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,"
SHE SAID " WHAT DOES THAT MEAN???
ADORABLE,BEAUTIFUL,CUTE,DELIGHTFUL,ELEGANT,FOXY,GORGEOUS,HOT!
SHE SAID "OH,THAT'S SO LOVELY!"
WHAT ABOUT I,J,K?"
HE SAID, "I'M JUST KIDDING'''!!!!!!!!!
جميله اول مره اشوفها
ردحذف